Before you read this post, please understand that nothing I say is meant to be offensive or target anyone directly. I just needed to try and express some opinions about a certain situation.
So yesterday was certainly… Eventful.
I woke up and got onto the internet to check Hangouts, like I do everyday, to find out Breezy had somehow been added to the new Pixie Chat, and had deleted us all and stolen the chat again! O_O
Someone made a new chat, but everyone was really heated about the whole thing and… Well, there was a lot of fighting going on there. And that’s when I made the decision.
I left the Pixie Chat. At the time I left, there was an argument going, so I didn’t really explain myself, and honestly, I’ve been dreading having to, because as a lot of you know I am a pretty terrible explainer, and sometimes what I say is interpreted in the wrong way, but you guys deserve an explanation, and I think I deserve a chance to say a few things that have been on my mind ever since this whole thing began.
Ever since we lost the Pixie Chat, the original one, it’s felt… different. There’s a different atmosphere. I started using it less, also because the person I usually talked to most on the chat was Raven, who these days doesn’t speak to me unless she has to (and rightly so, I mean, I did screw up pretty bad which resulted in a whole lot of hurt on her end of the scale), and because of time zones most other pixies are on whilst I’m asleep.
Then yesterday, I was watching as the drama unfolded, and I realised something: it wasn’t worth it. And I don’t mean that as in the pixies fighting aren’t worth it, by the Second Star no, I’d never say that. What I mean is, all this drama, this fighting, it’s pointless. We can’t stop what happened. We can’t change the past. All these fights, seeing friends, people I care about, turn against each other, has left me feeling really drained, and there was nothing I could have done to stop it; anything I could have said would have only made it worse. I needed to get away from all the fighting, so… I left.
This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop blogging, or writing, or even using Hangouts. I’m happy to chat to anyone who I talked to in the Pixie Chat in a private Hangout, and blogging is a big part of my life, so of course I’m not going to stop.
I also want to take this chance to say something that I feel is important:
This blogging community, and the people in it, I’ve always loved. Everyone’s always so supportive of each other. You have no idea how many times I’ve gotten home from a terrible day at school, or have been frustrated to the point of tears over an assessment, or just felt down in general, and I’ve gotten onto Hangouts and had someone make me smile again, or read a post which makes me laugh. Seeing everyone fighting doesn’t just make me feel exhausted, it also breaks my heart. All my online friends, people who are as dear to me as the ones I know in person, friends who have always had each others backs, so easily turn on each other…
Fighting with everyone won’t bring back the chat, and besides, the physical chat wasn’t what made it special. It was special because of the people, people who were from all corners of the world were able to express opinions without being judged, they were able to find others with simular interests, joke around with friends, and it was also because of these exact reasons I loved Pixie Hollow too.
I feel like we’ve lost this over the past months, and I want us to be able to find it again. All these arguments won’t solve anything, and neither will lashing out at the people who caused the problem in the first place. Sometimes the only thing people can do is keep their heads high, to keep going despite what has happened.
Maybe one day, if things get better, I’ll return to the Pixie Chat. But for now this is the only way I can think of that won’t make the situation worse. I’m a overly emotional person and I honestly don’t deal with these sorts of things well… I mean, it took me nearly three years to come to terms with PH closing.
I hope you can all understand where I’m coming from with this and that I’m not having a go at anyone.
– Rose MorningMist ❤
‘Violence doesn’t end violence, it only extends it.’
– The Eleventh Doctor, Doctor Who