These days, there’s so many things that can go wrong.
Everyone’s going through something, dealing with some kind of struggle. For some people, it’s as small as an arguement with a friend, which leaves them feeling angry and a little sad. For others, it’s the struggle to live through the next day.
The thing is, it doesn’t matter how big or small the situation really is. To you, it’s something that’s making you feel sad, or angry, or guilty, or scared. It’s a trail in your life you’re going to have to try and overcome, and it doesn’t matter the size – that’s always difficult.
I know that personally, I’m very lucky. I have a good family, good friends, a meal on my table each night. I know that some people don’t have those things. I know that the things I’ve been through are miniscule in comparsion to some of the struggles others face every day. However, I also know that the things I’ve felt, the sadness, the anger, the guilt, the fear – they were still things that effected me for a long time.
Currently, I’m very pleased to say that as a whole, I’m happy. But that doesn’t mean it’s always been like this. For the past few years, I’ve been faced with many trails – nothing drastic, but they were enough to leave me in a negative state. There were times I wouldn’t want to get out of bed in the morning, that I wouldn’t want to face the day, times I’d just sit in silence, wondering what I’d done to deserve it. It felt like every time I managed to pick myself up, something else would be thrown my way. It felt like I was worthless, like there was no point in even fighting it anymore. I’d go through a full week on autopilot, not achieving anything, not feeling anything. I found that for different environments, I’d put on different masks to hide my sadness, act like a different person in front of my friends, in front of my family, and I did this so much that when I was alone, I couldn’t even remember who I really was anymore.
That was me, not long ago. I decided to take a step back and try and work out who I really was, and it took a while, but I finally found myself. Not completely, because I know that would be impossible – I’m still young, and I still have a lot of years ahead of me in which I know I’ll learn new things about myself – but I’ve learnt enough to be confident in throwing those masks away and showing the real me to the world.
The thing is, I’m a stubborn soul, and each time I fell, I forced myself to get back up again, and with every trial, I learnt something new. It wasn’t always hard times, either – I can recall many positive moments in my life from those years, and recently, there’s been more good than the bad. I’m learning to laugh at flaws, to forgive myself for all the dumb mistakes I’ve made in the past, because I’ve realised there’s too much sadness in the world. Too many people have fallen and have lost all hope of getting up again, and that breaks my heart.
That’s why I’m writing this.
I want to remind people that it doesn’t matter how big or small your problem is – your happiness is important. You are important. You, and only you, can control your future, can decide to start fighting again. No, it isn’t easy. No, it won’t happen overnight. It could take a week, or a month, or even a year, but it is so worth it, so worth waking up one day and realising that you’re happy – not sad, or angry, or guilty or scared, just happy. It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel sad again – there’s always a chance of falling once mor, it’s a part of being human, but that isn’t what’s important. Focus on the good, not the bad, the moments that made you feel happy and joyous and free. Hold onto those moments, look forward to more of those moments, because they will come, and don’t just wait for them to show up – create those good moments. Audition for that musical you really want to be a part of, or save up to buy that new video game you’ve been eyeing for weeks. Give those art lessons another go, or plan a trip to the beach like you’ve been wanting to for ages. You think it’s impossible? Well, everything was impossible once. It doesn’t matter what it is you’re dealing with, overcoming it is always possible. It may take time, but you will get up again.
So find that smile you once had. Use it, and don’t ever give up. There’s always a way to find your happiness again.
– Rose MorningMist ❤