Every time my mind begins to whirl
With all the unseen possibilities
Of what will happen next
When out of all those possibilities
The worst and most outrageous
Scream above them all
Blocking out the logical,
The rational, realistic
When my heart starts pounding
And my stomach twists into knots
And those possibilities won’t leave my head
My mind blows things out of proportion
It makes things seem worse than they are
I try to remind myself of that,
And wait for evidence
To remind me of the truth
The outcome is logical, simple
A friend’s strange absence from texting
Turns out to just be a flat phone battery
Or a busy day
It’s all fine in the end
The knot untwists
And the storm of thoughts calms
But still, it happens
And still, it’s hard
But it’s worse
When the outrageous becomes reality
When the truth only adds fuel
To the endless spiral of speculation
When instead of relief, there’s just more dread
When instead of peace, the fear intensifies
When my heart feels like it’s being squeezed
And those possibilities in my head just won’t leave…
Is this normal?
Or is it just me?
Am I just overreacting?
Can it be stopped?
I’m not sure…
I just wish it were easier.
One day, maybe it will be easier.